Today the playwright is seventy-nine years old. Pinter is perhaps best known for his plays ‘The Birthday Party’, ‘The Dumbwaiter’, ‘Betrayal’, and ‘Old Times’.
Highly influenced by the work of Samuel Beckett, but only half as funny and not nearly as Irish, Pinter’s work has in turn influenced many other aspiring playwrights throughout the world and Chicago to write drama laden with sullen silences punctuated by frightening bursts of violence.
In honor of Harold’s birthday please observe a moment of silence in this manner: Stare intently at the floor until someone asks you what’s wrong. Continue staring, take a breath, and reply: “Nothing.” (employing a British accent is recommended, either Northern Working Class or Cockney, depending on the color of your trousers and your political affiliation).
Those of you who wear glasses should then remove them and pinch the bridge of your nose between thumb and forefinger at this point. Do not put them back on. Those of you with contact lenses can achieve the same effect by
rubbing the corner of one eye with your forefinger. Those of you without corrective lenses of any kind should merely blink a few times, if desired.
If your tormentor does not leave immediately, rise slowly and silently back them against the nearest wall, bookcase, or kitchen appliance. Lean in close to their face and, through clenched teeth, say: “Nothing . . . is . . . wrong.”
After a long moment, punch them in the stomach.
Return quietly to your seat and continue to stare, ignoring their whimpers and the eventual arrival of the police.
Blackout.
Happy birthday dear Harold, happy birthday to you…