Exorcism and Blood
Find the demon.
Do you know what I’m talking about? It’s the little voice in the back of your head that’s always whispering, “You can’t.†You know the demon. You may think you hate the demon, but you don’t. You love it. You let it own you. You do everything it says. Everytime there’s something you want, you consult the demon first, to see if it will say, “You can’t have that.â€
What you don’t realize is that your demon doesn’t know anything. It’s an idiot. It’s nothing but a parrot, repeating back to you anything negative that it’s ever heard, anything that makes you hurt, makes you squirm. If a teacher once told you “You’ll never accomplish anything,†it was listening; it hoards words like that and repeats them back to you to watch you jump. It doesn’t know what it’s saying. It doesn’t care.
Exorcise yourself.
From the essay Hack Yourself.
I haven’t had time to dig in yet, but I think I might like this Bloodletters site.