I hate him. I just hate him. Maybe it’s Frank Miller’s fault. Maybe it’s Jules Feiffer’s fault. Maybe they’re the ones who soured me forever on the big blue schoolboy. But whoever it was . . . god do I hate Superman.
This clip isn’t official. Some nimrod fanboy put it together because of the Kryptonian size of his enthusiastic hard-on for the upcoming movie.
This is what happen when men don’t date, kids.
But . . . why do I hate Superman so?
Is it just that there are Lennon fans and there are McCartney fans, and never the twain shall meet?
The Marx Brothers vs. the Three Stooges?
Coke vs. Pepsi?
Can’t we all just get along?
No Rodney, we cannot.
Superman is stupid, he’s a moron. As is anyone who gets that gaudy ‘S’ logo tatooed on any portion of their anatomy, anyone who wears a t-shirt, anyone who puts the sticker on their car.
A few weeks back, I passed a truck with one affixed to their trailer hitch. My son, god bless him, offerred to give them the finger.
Warming to my subject, let me one again stress my thesis that Superman is a complete and utter tool.
And that’s one of the main reasons I hate him. He’s an idiot. He’s borderline retarded. Here’s how you can tell — all of his arch enemies are geniuses, they’re brilliant minds.
Put simply for the Kryptonians in the crowd, Superman’s enemies are all smarter than he is.
Braniac. Lex Luthor. Even Bizarro (the retard Superman) are all defined by Superman’s lack of intelligence.
In short, Superman is all wax and no wick.
As a comparison, Batman’s primary villians are all crazier than he is.
Which begs the question, what would you rather be: Crazy or stupid?
And, lest we forget, Superman is also a complete dick as well.
There’s a movie coming. This is, I expect, a subject to which I shall return in the months to come.
Lucky you.