(From a recent conversation with my lovely wife…)

“Which one is Joy?”

“Joy’s the one who — have I told you this?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Joy’s the one who . . . I probably shouldn’t tell you this.”

“You might as well.”

“Well, when you came to see me one time, Joy thought you were…”

“…your what?”

“She thought you were my father.”

Ow. Ow. Ow.