/yesod

Author: T.M. Camp

  • brief despair

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated August 10th, 1998] …horrid dreams, my two children poisoned and dead in their coffins, and no one to save me from my despair…

  • flames, new and old

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated June 16th, 1998] …and, somehow, in my dreams I hear a huge crash — metal and glass — ignoring it, I dream on… …a flickering light from outside — flash of orange through the blinds — send me up to the window,…

  • home invasion

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated January 6th, 1997] I stand in the front window and watch as the car makes its second pass, making myself as visible as possible to the men inside . . . letting them know that there are people home and they’ll have…

  • the recursive old woman

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated December 6th, 1996] …I’m standing in front of a shelf full of journals and books in the dead man’s rooms. I take one down, finding [ILLEGIBLE] and poetry, handwritten recollections between the pages — it dawns on me that these are the…

  • uneasy sleep

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated April 11th, 1994] And it doesn’t get any better as the days go on. Wasted time and uneasy sleep. Like Macbeth, I have murdered the deep life — drowned by days, and smothered under chemical work and answering machines.

  • haunted

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated April 4th, 1994] Ghost dreams. Windows that won’t stay closed. Doors opening onto nothing. Tired and depressed, once again.

  • Mister O

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Shut up in the darkness. “Leave her be, O, she’s in hell.” I demand her release from the Shadow Cupboard. A final kiss for my mistress and then I turned to look for my wife — seeing only a mad, wizened, blind creature scuttling in the darkness. Dear God. And I thought I was in…

  • wedding errand

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Walking through a parking lot towards a line of children. Accosted, my money taken. Finally convincing them to let me go — “Please, I’m getting married today.” Amazingly — I’m released. But the ceremony has started and I’m late. Putting on a tuxedo in the great underground empire while searching for a washcloth. Sent on…

  • the blood curse

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Blood, spelling out a hastily scrawled curse or warning: “IF YOU CONTINUE, YOU WON’T SEE THE END. IF YOU WRITE IT, IT WILL NEVER BE READ. IF YOU TELL THE STORY, NO ON WILL LISTEN.” And blood scrawling away to nothing. A moment to pause and gasp. And the voice of Constantine rises within. “You…

  • the blood curse

    —

    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Blood, spelling out a hastily scrawled curse or warning: “IF YOU CONTINUE, YOU WON’T SEE THE END. IF YOU WRITE IT, IT WILL NEVER BE READ. IF YOU TELL THE STORY, NO ON WILL LISTEN.” And blood scrawling away to nothing. A moment to pause and gasp. And the voice of Constantine rises within. “You…

  • dust and bones

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Dreaming of empty houses. Rooms like vaulted graves, Corners filled with dust and bones.

  • limbo

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    So I have received a dose of poison and I am slowly dying. My body is slowing down and seizing up. I can feel my muscles and joints hardening… Dying. As I’m going, my father is holding me and I’m crying. I’m asking him questions. “Will I go to heaven? Tell [REDACTED] I’ll miss her.”…

  • the three old men

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Three old men. Drunken and cheaply dressed sit in a library and make vulgar innuendos to every girl who walks by. In the background a brass ensemble plays Cab Calloway tunes.

  • mother, father, cat

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    Do demons stand still? Can you look for them in corners or out of the way places? Do demons stop long enough for you to see them? Do demons stand near us? Where do they stand? In the dream, my house has been transformed into a filthy hole. The kitchen is a mess, bits of…

  • gitchy

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    by

    T.M. Camp
    in

    a hard couple of months visualizing, thin times